When It's Done?

Duke Nukem Forever. To some, it evokes laughter, others, tears, more still, anger. DNF was announced April 28, 1997 and the wait began.

My Duke Nukem story starts, with my friends computer. I purchased the third game, and installed it on his after we downloaded the shareware level from the internet (56k!). The game made me want my own computer, and I can credit it with giving me interest in computers, and seeking out help to learn how to build and maintain them. My first experience with Ebay was purchasing the Atomic Edition of Duke Nukem, followed by the game Shadow Warrior. I still have the CDs to this day. The sequel for duke Nukem had been announced, I figured it wouldn't be too long before I could play the newest adventure of the alien ass-kicker. So I played my games, played the hell out of them in fact, even bought the expansions and played the hell out of them. And I waited.



First were teased in 1998 with a trailer promising much, but delivering nothing.

Next were tormented by a trailer in 2001, celebrating the 10th anniversary of the original Duke Nukem game.

Finally we were curb-stomped in 2007 by yet another "teaser" trailer.

It's 2011 almost 14 years since the game was first announced. And yet we wait.

In 2009, 3DRealms was shut down. They finally ran out of funding after making no games in over a decade. The game was dead in the water, to most of those folks that hate the last two generations of FPS games, such as Halo, Medal of Honor, and most importantly Call of Duty, it was heartbreaking. Generic First Person Shooters featuring brown on brown graphics, starring "heroes" lacking the most basic personalities, would still rule the day.

Suddenly just before PAX came in 2010, rumblings started about a new studio taking over, a small studio that is best known for one game, Borderlands, Gearbox Software. The announcement came and some were baffled. Some jilted by the mishandling of 3drealms remained, and still remain skeptical about the game. But to a few die hard fans, it was a glimmer of hope. Plots were leaked, game play videos released via webshow, pictures came out in droves. More information had poured out in just a few months than had been confirmed in years.

The game has a release date, no more will fans cringe at the most famous phrase uttered by a game developer, when it's done. It will be done May 3rd, 2011. It is not without controversy however, as the cover artwork has come under scrutiny by the fans.



I have waited for this game, for longer than any of my friends. Most of whom have completely lost interest by this point and have in their words, moved on. I've had a countless number of computers since DN3D was released, always in the back of my mind echoed "Will this be the one that finally gets to play it? It could happen this time. This time." Will I actually do as I promised and shove the game down my pants? Who knows? At least it's not as bad as what Gabe has to do.



All I can tell you for sure, is that I'm still betting on Duke.

Dead Rising 2... Dead on Arrival?

In a bold move, the folks at Capcom have shot themselves in the foot before their horse has even left the stable. Fact of the matter is with Dead Rising: Case Zero they took what should have been the opening of the game, hacked it out and then sold it to 360 users as a paid content "demo." Now Kenji Inafune has announced Dead Rising: Case West. The DLC takes place some time after the events of DR2. Chuck sets out with Frank West to find evidence that clears his name... Wait a minute? Chuck had to clear his name in the trailer for DR2...

What's going on here? What's the point of spending $60 bucks on the game if you have to purchase the last chapter of the game to find out what really happens and do that thing that your char was supposed to do over the span of the entire game?? And as a final bonus kick in the nuts, the DLC is Xbox 360 exclusive. So basically, Capcom has sent out a big FU to gamers in general, and an added FU especially sent to those of us that enjoy our games on PC and PS3. I have railed on DLC when it was in it's infancy. Now the ugly bastard has grown 3 heads and teeth. We need to take this thing out, and we need to do it now. I have, since the announcement, cancelled my Dead Risng 2 High Stakes Edition Preorder, and gave the CSR the reason why. I just hope he had enough space in the "reason for canceling box" to record my enraged rambling.

4.2 Bricking Wiis

The new 4.2 update is now bricking Wiis, and you'd be surprised to find out whose Wiis are being bricked. Those that have no Mods whatsoever on their consoles are finding that they cannot do anything more than power up the wii.

http://techforums.nintendo.com/nins/board/message?board.id=wii_tech&thread.id=29914

This time it took less than 24 hours to find a workaround for the 4.2 update. Thanks to the HBC guys and to Waninkoko.

If you have a problem with the update from Nintendo, feel free to contact Nintendo Consumer Service at 1-800-255-3700 for assistance. If enough people call to complain, they shouldn't be charging the $85 bucks for something that is entirely THEIR FAULT.

Nintendo's 4.2 Wii Update to Homebrew "F--k Off"

Today Nintendo posted a new update on the wii, it esentially does nothing except replace the IOS and remove the HBC. What is HBC you ask? Homebrew Channel allows you to install applications, homebrew games, and emulators to your Wii. It's an amazing program that can allow you to do a variety of things. Now why the hell would Nintendo want to kill this program? Simple, you can run emulators of games they are trying to overcharge on the Virtual Console for. The problem is they don't offer you the entire library of their games right from the get go, you have to sit and wait for something you really want. I've been waiting for Earthbound for almost 3 years now. It's sort of like itunes, only you can't get as much crap for your money with it. And Wiiware is a sad, sad joke, nothing particularly useful or fun to play on the lot of it.

Now the IOS's are the more sinister lot of modifications as you can use these for "backup copies" of your games, or to load your games off a USB drive. Not a bad idea given that cd drives often fail after prolonged use, so cutting it out entirely from the process can be a desirable outcome. Nintendo however feels that this would cut into the profits of game sales so they try to rip it all out by the short and curlies, which only works if you update. Speaking for myself, until Nintendo actually gets off their ass and releases Earthbound to the VC, Homebrew Channel shall not parish from MY console. And I paid for it, I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it.

A Hate Crime Against Every Car You've Ever Loved.

I've railed on DLC before, but this has to be the worst DLC, ever. No one in their right mind should even think about buying the Legendary Cars Pack for Burnout Paradise. The whole thing is an insult to fans of the movies and tv shows that this pack blatantly rips off. It's just another case of EA trying hard to nickel and dime everyone out of as much as possible. The most insulting car by far is the Cavalry Bootlegger. Slapping a Mexican Flag on something sacred to most every Southerner is blasphemy of the highest order. KITT just looks ridiculous. The Ghostbusters Car isn't supposed to be Blue, black might pass, but not blue, come on. The only car that passes just a little is the 88 special. EA and Criterion should be ashamed of themselves, but then, they never are. You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. And you sure as hell NEVER mess with the General Lee.

Disney Marketing And You.

Who came up with this? And why weren't they immediately fired? Anyone that sees the movie that's under ten would see the bag for this and start balling their eyes out. Trauma at your very own Kroger's. I mean hell, the kid has to shoot his own dog at the end of the movie, and if you didn't cry at the end of it, I'm sorry but you just aren't human. Because that's seriously messed up. Anyone who would dare feed this to their pets should never EVER be allowed to own another animal of any kind again.

However, they do need to put Old Yeller in Kingdom Hearts 3, his rabies attack would be bad ass.

Boom Blox Only Does 60k in sales.

Is anyone really all that shocked here? I mean come on it boils down to FIFTY BUCKS for a game that looks like a Jenga knock off featuring chickens. And hell, who wouldn't want a game where you shoot chickens at Jenga blocks?? But that's not the game and it's FIFTY BUCKS. And Spielberg really thinks his name has pull anymore? Comon this is the guy that made ET then started slapping his name on every Warner Brothers cartoon he could get his hands on, nobody cares anymore, especially when you put indiana jones on the back of a bike BEHIND the insanely annoying kid from TRANSFORMERS! And did I mention it's FIFTY F$%&ING DOLLARS?