Why Japan Rocks (aka Why Can't Wii Get This Stuff, Part 2)

No More Heroes, the toilet paper. Not since Space Balls: The Toilet Paper, have I seen a more ingenious marketing tie-in. I mean, the book is right, everybody poops. So why not do it in style? Still no word from gamestop if this will be coming with my copy of NMH, but one can only hope. Hell the instruction manual itself comes in the form of a comic book. No More Heroes hasn't done so hot in Japan, but I honestly believe a lightsaber based game can do a lot better here in the states.

My picks for 2008 so far...

A new year is here, and with it comes some new games. By next week one great game (hopefully great) will be coming out in the form of No More Heroes. A game where from what I can tell, the entire point is to beat people up with a fluorescent lamp lightsaber. Yes that's right I said LIGHTSABER, and you use it with the Wiimote. How can you NOT want that? Anyway on with the list my picks for 2008:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii) - otherwise known as the series that turned fighting games on their ear. This game has been duplicated, ripped off, and replicated, all badly. Accept no substitutes. Even if this thing keeps getting delayed (GRRRRRRR). And who the hell could pass up a chance to beat the living crap out of Sonic with Mario? It's every Nintendo fans dream come true.

Fallout 3 (PC and Who the Hell Cares?)- If you don't know what Fallout is and what makes it great, you aren't a gamer, period. The game is being produced by the guys at Bethesda, the folks that brought us the godly Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion. Oblivion engine set in a post-apocalyptic universe? Yes sir, may I have another?

Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust (Pc, Ps3, Xbox 360, Cell) - Yes I know the last game, Magna Cum Laude, sucked, and sucked hard. One of the worst games, I've ever played. But it's Larry, and I have to give him one more shot. For crap's sakes get Al Lowe back already you idiots! Love for sail is right up there as my favorite adventure game of all time. And I want that feeling back, damn it.

Ghostbusters (PC, Wii, PS2, Ps3, Xbox 360)- Duh. If I had to go into description on this, I'd have to come out of your computer screen, and slap each and every one of you reading this.

Bionic Commando Rearmed(PSN, Xbox Live) - The remake of the series, not the one starring the vomit inducing, dreadlocked, hot dog packing, tan guy. I don't see any way to screw this up, other than not releasing it on the console that so richly deserves it, the Wii. And my friends over at GoNintendo, are taking that one head on at http://www.petitiononline.com/0819/petition.html.

Postal 3- Come on it's a new postal game? Whats not to love? Hopefully this will still be an FPS, given that I'm already a tall redhead that bears an uncanny resemblance to the main character, but I'll probly enjoy it either way.

Who the hell knows when Duke Nukem Forever is coming out, but you can damn well bet it would be on top of the list for that year. I want to like that game as much as I like breathing. And I do love my oxygen intake, I love it good.

I'll take the game!

Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, that is. So far the game has been really good. My only real complaint is that Colbert doesn't voice Phil, and that's a crime that deserves its own case in the game. The game actually had me laughing out loud at a few parts (Mr. Bombs over Baghdad!) and it seems like High Voltage gets what's so good about the cartoon series itself. Unfortunately though, the fatal flaw could be that the cases are somewhat shorter than what I was originally thinking they would be. But all in all, if you like the Phoenix Wright series you should really give this game a try. I can't say that I have any objections to a sequel as long as Colbert comes back.

G4 still out of touch with gamers, even after all these years

I've noticed something about G4 lately, they have no idea what the hell is going on with games and gamers. I don't know if they ever did. During the Super Mario Galaxy special a "stickcam" question about a Ghostbusters game. Adam responded with a snide "there's no way in hell that they would come out with a new Ghosbusters game." The NEXT DAY, the VERY next day, the announcement of the new game informer mag came out. After the original airing this was edited. Then this happens:

http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/681657/Duke_Nukem_Forever_Teaser_Kinda_Lame.html

"Sorry, 3DRealms, Duke Nukem Forever is still a joke and as much as you'd like to think so, Duke is no Master Chief or Kratos."

Well they got it half right, Duke is no Master Chief or Kratos. He's better than both of them, combined. In one hand, you've got a giant green bastard that's stuck in a tin can with no personality, on the other hand you have an emo Greek. Sorry G4, but I still bet on Duke. And I'd be willing to bet that I'm not alone. But it's no wonder you have no idea whats going on, you are after all, owned by Comcast. But hey judge for yourself the trailer is below.

The end is neigh!

Break out the shiny foil hats people, because one of the signs of the Apocalypse happens tomorrow at high noon tomorrow central standard time. That's right folks, George "can't get away from the EverCrack" Broussard has announced that a new Duke Nukem Forever trailer is being released at the aforementioned time.

"Last Saturday we had our annual company Christmas party. It was a lot of fun as usual but it featured one special surprise. It turns out that several people had been secretly working late nights and into the wee hours of the morning preparing a special video for those at the party. They created a short teaser for Duke Nukem Forever.
After seeing the teaser we thought it was something we should share with all of you and while it's just a teaser, rest assured more is coming.
Tomorrow, Wednesday the 19th, around noon CST, we will release the first teaser trailer from Duke Nukem Forever. To tide you over until then, here is a screen shot taken from the teaser.
Thank you for being fans of the game and for your continued patience.
I'd like to thank the people on the team that worked so hard to create this teaser and the friends of 3DR that helped create it (Jeremy Soule and Julian Soule, Frank Bry, Jason Evigan and of course, Jon St. John)."

Guess Everquest 2 must have sucked so hard, he finally got back to what he was supposed to do in the first damn place. Make the damn sequel to one of the greatest FPSs... Ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my metal hat and hide out in my bomb shelter, because a Pigcop just flew past my window. The Devil however, was unavailable for comment, as he is stuck in an ice block.

Screw world peace this year give me

on the Virtual Console. I never got the chance to play all the way through this classic RPG as I didn't own it (Yes I know, Oh the shame, Oh the horror). SOMEBODY at Nintendo needs to listen to the hords of fans screaming at them for this game. At one point Reggie was rambling about the creator wanting to do a remake for the virtual console. But screw that, I'll lay down my 8 bucks, and I bet I'm not alone, for the original untouched game. Eight bucks beats the living hell out of $65 (the current price USED on Amazon.com). Sure I could just download it and play it on a rom, but I'd rather own a digital download of this classic gem. And after allowing Shaq Fu on the SNES, you owe me Nintendo.

Gerstmanngate

I've been avoiding talking about this because I felt that I would go into an endless rant about the state of review sites, finally I decided to break it down into a few easy to read points.

1. Jeff Gerstmann is one of the WORST game reviewers to ever sit down at a keyboard. He picks up one small falt in a game and hammers it until it looks like an epic problem and worthy of every one's hate.

2. IGN, Gamespot, and any other "media" site reviews are tainted. They always have been. Game companies are constantly sending them swag, or paying for advertisements on sites. Ad revenue is how most of the reviewers get paid.

So really if you want to use the sites that's fine, but use them as a GUIDELINE and don't take their word for it, rent, borrow or take a chance and buy the game. Who knows you might just enjoy a game that got a 6.0 (or in Postal 2's case a 0). You may end up hating a game that got above a nine and feel that you wasted your hard earned cash. You never know until you TRY it.

On a final note, Jeff I'd love to give your career and 8.8, but that would be way to generous.