A Pissed Off Gamer Blog

When It's Done?

2011-01-25T03:06:00.013-06:00

Duke Nukem Forever. To some, it evokes laughter, others, tears, more still, anger. DNF was announced April 28, 1997 and the wait began.

My Duke Nukem story starts, with my friends computer. I purchased the third game, and installed it on his after we downloaded the shareware level from the internet (56k!). The game made me want my own computer, and I can credit it with giving me interest in computers, and seeking out help to learn how to build and maintain them. My first experience with Ebay was purchasing the Atomic Edition of Duke Nukem, followed by the game Shadow Warrior. I still have the CDs to this day. The sequel for duke Nukem had been announced, I figured it wouldn't be too long before I could play the newest adventure of the alien ass-kicker. So I played my games, played the hell out of them in fact, even bought the expansions and played the hell out of them. And I waited.

First were teased in 1998 with a trailer promising much, but delivering nothing.

Next were tormented by a trailer in 2001, celebrating the 10th anniversary of the original Duke Nukem game.

Finally we were curb-stomped in 2007 by yet another "teaser" trailer.

It's 2011 almost 14 years since the game was first announced. And yet we wait.

In 2009, 3DRealms was shut down. They finally ran out of funding after making no games in over a decade. The game was dead in the water, to most of those folks that hate the last two generations of FPS games, such as Halo, Medal of Honor, and most importantly Call of Duty, it was heartbreaking. Generic First Person Shooters featuring brown on brown graphics, starring "heroes" lacking the most basic personalities, would still rule the day.

Suddenly just before PAX came in 2010, rumblings started about a new studio taking over, a small studio that is best known for one game, Borderlands, Gearbox Software. The announcement came and some were baffled. Some jilted by the mishandling of 3drealms remained, and still remain skeptical about the game. But to a few die hard fans, it was a glimmer of hope. Plots were leaked, game play videos released via webshow, pictures came out in droves. More information had poured out in just a few months than had been confirmed in years.

The game has a release date, no more will fans cringe at the most famous phrase uttered by a game developer, when it's done. It will be done May 3rd, 2011. It is not without controversy however, as the cover artwork has come under scrutiny by the fans.

I have waited for this game, for longer than any of my friends. Most of whom have completely lost interest by this point and have in their words, moved on. I've had a countless number of computers since DN3D was released, always in the back of my mind echoed "Will this be the one that finally gets to play it? It could happen this time. This time." Will I actually do as I promised and shove the game down my pants? Who knows? At least it's not as bad as what Gabe has to do.

All I can tell you for sure, is that I'm still betting on Duke.

Dead Rising 2... Dead on Arrival?

2010-09-16T23:06:00.005-05:00

In a bold move, the folks at Capcom have shot themselves in the foot before their horse has even left the stable. Fact of the matter is with Dead Rising: Case Zero they took what should have been the opening of the game, hacked it out and then sold it to 360 users as a paid content "demo." Now Kenji Inafune has announced Dead Rising: Case West. The DLC takes place some time after the events of DR2. Chuck sets out with Frank West to find evidence that clears his name... Wait a minute? Chuck had to clear his name in the trailer for DR2...

What's going on here? What's the point of spending $60 bucks on the game if you have to purchase the last chapter of the game to find out what really happens and do that thing that your char was supposed to do over the span of the entire game?? And as a final bonus kick in the nuts, the DLC is Xbox 360 exclusive. So basically, Capcom has sent out a big FU to gamers in general, and an added FU especially sent to those of us that enjoy our games on PC and PS3. I have railed on DLC when it was in it's infancy. Now the ugly bastard has grown 3 heads and teeth. We need to take this thing out, and we need to do it now. I have, since the announcement, cancelled my Dead Risng 2 High Stakes Edition Preorder, and gave the CSR the reason why. I just hope he had enough space in the "reason for canceling box" to record my enraged rambling.

4.2 Bricking Wiis

2009-09-30T17:14:00.004-05:00

The new 4.2 update is now bricking Wiis, and you'd be surprised to find out whose Wiis are being bricked. Those that have no Mods whatsoever on their consoles are finding that they cannot do anything more than power up the wii.

http://techforums.nintendo.com/nins/board/message?board.id=wii_tech&thread.id=29914

This time it took less than 24 hours to find a workaround for the 4.2 update. Thanks to the HBC guys and to Waninkoko.

If you have a problem with the update from Nintendo, feel free to contact Nintendo Consumer Service at 1-800-255-3700 for assistance. If enough people call to complain, they shouldn't be charging the $85 bucks for something that is entirely THEIR FAULT.

Nintendo's 4.2 Wii Update to Homebrew "F--k Off"

2009-09-29T04:40:00.005-05:00

Today Nintendo posted a new update on the wii, it esentially does nothing except replace the IOS and remove the HBC. What is HBC you ask? Homebrew Channel allows you to install applications, homebrew games, and emulators to your Wii. It's an amazing program that can allow you to do a variety of things. Now why the hell would Nintendo want to kill this program? Simple, you can run emulators of games they are trying to overcharge on the Virtual Console for. The problem is they don't offer you the entire library of their games right from the get go, you have to sit and wait for something you really want. I've been waiting for Earthbound for almost 3 years now. It's sort of like itunes, only you can't get as much crap for your money with it. And Wiiware is a sad, sad joke, nothing particularly useful or fun to play on the lot of it.

Now the IOS's are the more sinister lot of modifications as you can use these for "backup copies" of your games, or to load your games off a USB drive. Not a bad idea given that cd drives often fail after prolonged use, so cutting it out entirely from the process can be a desirable outcome. Nintendo however feels that this would cut into the profits of game sales so they try to rip it all out by the short and curlies, which only works if you update. Speaking for myself, until Nintendo actually gets off their ass and releases Earthbound to the VC, Homebrew Channel shall not parish from MY console. And I paid for it, I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it.

A Hate Crime Against Every Car You've Ever Loved.

2009-02-22T15:33:00.007-06:00

I've railed on DLC before, but this has to be the worst DLC, ever. No one in their right mind should even think about buying the Legendary Cars Pack for Burnout Paradise. The whole thing is an insult to fans of the movies and tv shows that this pack blatantly rips off. It's just another case of EA trying hard to nickel and dime everyone out of as much as possible. The most insulting car by far is the Cavalry Bootlegger. Slapping a Mexican Flag on something sacred to most every Southerner is blasphemy of the highest order. KITT just looks ridiculous. The Ghostbusters Car isn't supposed to be Blue, black might pass, but not blue, come on. The only car that passes just a little is the 88 special. EA and Criterion should be ashamed of themselves, but then, they never are. You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. And you sure as hell NEVER mess with the General Lee.

Disney Marketing And You.

2008-10-07T05:31:00.004-05:00

Who came up with this? And why weren't they immediately fired? Anyone that sees the movie that's under ten would see the bag for this and start balling their eyes out. Trauma at your very own Kroger's. I mean hell, the kid has to shoot his own dog at the end of the movie, and if you didn't cry at the end of it, I'm sorry but you just aren't human. Because that's seriously messed up. Anyone who would dare feed this to their pets should never EVER be allowed to own another animal of any kind again.

However, they do need to put Old Yeller in Kingdom Hearts 3, his rabies attack would be bad ass.

Boom Blox Only Does 60k in sales.

2008-06-16T21:50:00.003-05:00

Is anyone really all that shocked here? I mean come on it boils down to FIFTY BUCKS for a game that looks like a Jenga knock off featuring chickens. And hell, who wouldn't want a game where you shoot chickens at Jenga blocks?? But that's not the game and it's FIFTY BUCKS. And Spielberg really thinks his name has pull anymore? Comon this is the guy that made ET then started slapping his name on every Warner Brothers cartoon he could get his hands on, nobody cares anymore, especially when you put indiana jones on the back of a bike BEHIND the insanely annoying kid from TRANSFORMERS! And did I mention it's FIFTY F$%&ING DOLLARS?

Rootkits Keep Falling On My Head

2008-05-09T10:17:00.016-05:00

Oh hell, not again. EA in it's latest bout of brilliance (read: complete incompetence) has decided to institute the latest form of SecuRom torture on it's legitimate customers buying Spore and Mass Effect. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about Sony invented this lovely little program they call DRM and most PC users with two braincells to rub up against each other call a root kit. Yes this program installs itself, refuses to run the game if it finds legitimate programs like Nero, MICROSOFT'S Process Explorer, and Disc juggler, and to top it all off, proves irremovable unless you reformat your system. If that's not a root kit than you don't know what is. The game has to be online every ten days for reactivation, if you aren't online to bad, the game will lock you out. And it's also been reported that the activation limit is back, this time it's down to three. I hope before PC gaming completely croaks some game company has the balls to admit it's mistakes, and understand that the way to create loyal customers is NOT to treat them like criminals.

Above: A Tech Support Cat tries to pull SecuRom off an Infected PC

I have, in fact, learned my lesson with Bioshock and I will NOT buy any game that features SecuRom, that goes for everyone. I don't care if your game is the best damn game since Duke Nukem 3d, put a root kit on, and I ain't buying.

UPDATE: Bioware/EA has decided to remove the 10 day re authentication but they have still not committed to an entirely non-SecRom Disc. Basically they are now back to exactly what Bioshock had for it's DRM. And that just isn't good enough.

"Pirates are not lost sales... they were never sales to begin with." --michaelca Via the Bioware forums

A Message From GTAIV...

2008-05-09T02:25:00.017-05:00

Don't drink and drive. Duh. The Parent Television Council (a.k.a. the people so morally stuck up their own ass that they want to dumb down television to the point that Elmo seems like Shakespeare) seem to believe that GTAIV advocates and "gives points for drunk driving." In reality the game WILL let you drive drunk HOWEVER there are severe consequences for doing so. I tried it one time just for the hell of it, your steering sucks, your vision is blurred and the cops are on your ass faster than half price day at Dunkin' Donuts. Its NOT a good idea to drive drunk in GTAIV just like it's NEVER a good idea to drive drunk in real life.

And parents get a grip. YOU are the ones who control what your child sees, hears, and does. That's why it's called parenting. Sit down with your kids play some video games with them. And when a clerk WARNS YOU THAT A GAME IS VIOLENT and you don't like that DON'T BUY IT. For f***'s sake don't buy a copy of GTA: Vice City for little 8 year old Jimmy only to come in the next day screaming that this game is so violent and you can have sex with prostitutes when I F***ING WARNED YOU TO BEGIN WITH. I was so inspired by this incident I created a T-Shirt in it's honor. Something I believe anyone who works selling video games for a living thinks every time something like this happens. That shirt can be found here.

Moving along to the game itself. The game is good, but hold your horses, it really doesn't deserve all those 10/10 scores it's getting. I remember back when review sites didn't worry about getting paid for game advertising so much. Otherwise known as back when they had balls, and they had balls enough to call a game's sequel out when it was just more of the same and lacking innovation. Don't get me wrong, more of the same isn't bad in the case of GTAIV, but its getting a little bland and a bit repetitive.

All my complaints from GTA San Andreas (mostly due to the fact that I hate micromanagement, "CJ feed your damn self or starve, I don't care about you.") seem to have cleared up but they took out a few features I actually LIKED from San An. For example, bikes are GONE, I actually enjoyed peddling around when I had the chance, it was faster than running and also a bit relaxing. Cliff jumping seems to be gone as well, and given that I would really love to jump Niko off the empire state building, only to be saved a few seconds before impact by a parachute, that hurts my feelings towards the game as well.

The graphics are superb, this is definitely the prettiest GTA we've ever seen, but that doesn't save the fact that by comparison to San Andreas the city feels really, really small. But I guess its really a trade off, either huge environment and shit graphics, or small environment and gobbstoppingly beautiful graphics.

Multiplayer is really the shinning force of this game as I find myself playing more of it than I do the single player game. Which the people that know me know that me getting addicted to multiplayer is completely unlikely. However I find myself actually wanting to pay *GASP* for a years subscription to Xbox Live just for this game *double gasp* and that's just not like me. But given that it's Rockstar's first real atempt at online, there are of course some drawbacks. After playing a complete round of Cop's and Crooks I find myself either dropped out into the "party area" or completely thrown back into the single player game. This is of course rather annoying.

If I honestly had to nail down a score for the game I'd give it a 9.5. Looking at the game itself it's more of the same GTA we all know and love with a few improvements and a bit of polish here and there. The improvements are welcome and this series is sure to live on, however there are still some minor and major setbacks that Rockstar will only be able to iron out with time. Here's hoping for another trip back to the 80s, oh how I love 80s music, I love it good.

The return of something groovy...

2008-04-23T03:20:00.006-05:00

Something has been missing for almost a decade. Something wormy. Something super suity... Well all that is about to end. Interplay has decided to bring back one of the greatest characters ever invented. A super hero among super heroes. A hero for all time. Soon to be out on the virtual console, new games in production AND most importantly a new cartoon series. Franchise creator Doug TenNapel is on-board as a consultant. It doesn't get much better than that. Hopefully they can get Dan Castellaneta (yes Homer himself) back on board. I whole-heartedly welcome back Earthworm Jim. Be it 2-d or 3-d, you slap a worm in a super suit to make him really super strong and he rules. Damn, now that theme song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlf4CDZeOkw&feature=related

It's official: My WTF moment of 2008.

2008-04-20T04:38:00.005-05:00

What? Why? The hell were they thinking? As well as at least 13 different expletives were speeding though my head at about a thousand miles an hour when I first saw this pic. A fighting game where Mortal Kombat faces off with DC? A whole-hearted celebration of second rate mediocrity. Great. Marvel and Capcom beat them to the punch almost a decade ago. Hate to break this to the fanboys, but Superman is in this game, and if you know anything about superheroes (and what normal breathing male doesn't?) Supes would just put his fist through everyone's skull and be done with the whole damned thing. No fatalitys needed. Speaking of which boone has pussed out and said there won't be any, just a series of finishers. Way to stick with what makes your series work there bud.

Why I don't watch DBZ.

2008-04-09T00:20:00.006-05:00

My friends love DBZ, a LOT. I really don't understand why. No, really I have no freaking clue why that damned cartoon got so much freaking money from American kids. I like anime to be short, simple, and to the point. Dragon Ball (Z; GT; Super; Turbo; Salvation; and anything else they could come up with) is none of those things. I also like it when they don't take five minutes at the beginning and ending of the episode to go over WHAT HAPPENED IN THE LAST EPISODE, and WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EPISODE! I also don't like an entire episode to involve two characters screaming at each other. Hell I like being able to tell who the **** is who, shit man, they all look the same to me. The people that watch Dragon Ball are the same idots that thought Bo Bo Bo Bo (for gods' sakes we get it, some dipshit in japan thought that repeating "Bo" over and over was f'ing hilarious) was an awesome anime. Kids, shut off the cartoon network go out and find some REAL anime. Just don't come crying to me when Vampire Hunter D beats the living shit out of Goku in your nightmares. So how many reasons could I come up with? Yes, over 9000, but I won't. I'll just leave you with this fact that will leave the DBZ fanboys screaming in horror. That picture you see on your left, the douchebag right there, yeah that guy is playing Goku in the official DBZ movie.

Indiana Jones doesn't ride bitch.

2008-03-11T18:08:00.008-05:00

Or at least you wouldn't want to believe he does. But such is the case with Indy 4. So it begs the question "why bother?" Why bother indeed. For there is another choice, perhaps a better choice in Postal: The Movie. Very loosely based on the game series by Running With Scissors, the film stars, Zack Ward (A Christmas Story, Titus, Bloodrayne II), Dave Foley (The Kids In The Hall, NewsRadio, Scrubs), and Verne "Stop calling me Mini-Me" Troyer. The film centers around the "Postal Dude" a trailer livin' fun lovin' average kind of guy. His wife is cheating on him, everyone seems to be out to get him, and the world seems to be caving in on him. So what else is a guy in his position to do but go postal? This may actually be the one win that Uwe Boll pulls off in a lifetime of mediocre film making. So go see it, I know I will. If nothing else you get to see a cat used as a silencer, and honestly, who doesn't want to see that? It's coming to a theater near you May 23rd, don't forget to spread the word.

Official Movie Site: http://www.postal-the-movie.com/preview.htm
And as always RWS' site: http://www.gopostal.com/

OBJECTION!

2008-02-26T16:37:00.004-06:00

The MKR Group has decided that they don't want no stinking malls with no stinking zombies in them unless they get their hands in the cookie jar. Reuters reported that yesterday they filed a complaint with the U.S. District Court in New York alleging that Dead Rising is simply "a video game version of our movies." What a load of crap. If a zombie infestation really did happen where would you want to go? I'd want to go to the local mall, barely anyone ever goes there anymore, but I guess I can't, it might infringe on someones copyright claim... This is the sort of thing that can happen when copyright claims aren't made to be more specific.

Original Story Here:

http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSN2526490820080226?feedType=RSS&feedName=entertainmentNews

Dead Rising 2 from Canada with love?

2008-02-26T00:59:00.007-06:00

Confusing reports abound today, and a trip to http://www.bluecastlegames.com/ doesn't seem to alleviate the situation. Rumor has it that Capcom is bringing in some western company to create the sequel to one of the best 360 games known to man. The videos contained within the site are purposely cryptic. The first video reports that the upcoming game is "probably the most sought after projects in Vancouver." Clicking over to the art team section reveals "going from the bigs where we were doing a lot of stadium artwork where we are now doing *bleep* city streets, vehicles weapons..." Interesting stuff... However...

There is yet another standing rumor that a development team in the "Los Angeles area" has been tapped to take over the reigns. Whatever the case may be, whoever wins, we as gamers win. Well if Otis is still ringing us on that walkie talkie we may loose...

Take 2 to EA: "Piss off"

2008-02-24T20:28:00.004-06:00

For some ungodly reason EA is trying to buy every gaming company they possibly can. My theory? It's so they can destroy every good gaming franchise and lower our expectations of their games. Burnout without crash mode? That isn't Burnout, it's just another crappy racing game. And Madden? Yeah 1996 called, they said they want you to stop updating the roster for their game. Could you imagine Bioshock 2 with REAL ads? Or GTA for that matter? EA basically sucks the fun right out of any game they get their hands on. They offered 2 billion for Take 2. Take 2's response in short form? Shove it up your ass.

A Far Cry from what you'd expect.

2008-02-22T16:54:00.003-06:00

Yes I went there, deal with it. It's been announced that the player of Farcry 2 will be stricken with malaria as soon as he gets of the plane. This is taking micromanagement to a whole new and sick level, whereas to get medicine for the disease you have to acquire it (they don't say how) from civilians. Ubisoft, I hope you know that the deaths of thousands of digital civilians will be on your heads, for I'm not the nice "can I have some medicine, I'll pay for it, honest" type. I'm more the "I'm going to shove this rifle up your ass and use you as a silencer if you don't give me what I want" type. So, if you can live with that, go ahead. But don't think Postal 2 hasn't had an effect on the way I play games, there is always the second option of killing everyone in sight, always.

The best thing on 360 since Dead Rising

2008-02-21T19:30:00.002-06:00

And yes, I'm completely ignoring that tin can trapped green bastard. The only problem with this game? It's just a demo, and there's a 17 day time limit on the demo. The Dishwasher hearkens back to the days when beat-em-ups were actually badass (aka before Squaresoft tried it). Its kind of like if you took TMNT: The Arcade Game smashed it with Salad Fingers and threw in a couple thousand gallons of blood. Yes folks, it's that awesome. Do yourself a favor and check this game out, you won't be sorry you did, but you might if you don't. It's hard to believe that a few guys in a basement created this. I may have to look into getting myself a copy of that XNA developer studio.

No, the sky isn't falling...

2008-02-16T10:30:00.008-06:00

That sound you heard a few days ago, that was Kaz "It's Ridge Racer Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidge Raaaaaaaacer!" Hirai dying a little inside. Awful loud though, wasn't it? Sam's Club had a hell of a deal on the Xbox 360 with an extra controller and the play n charge kit included. I also recived a game that I'd been looking at since I first saw direct feed video of it last year, Project Gotham Racing 4. Cars and motorcycles racing together? I'm in. Right now I'm in the process of looking for some really good deals on games. Dead Rising should be here on monday, and if you don't know already, I love that game it's the reason I got the first 360. If it were an official Dawn of the Dead game, it would be the first movie to video game translation that would be worth a damn. If you don't already own it, go out and get it now, Capcom is looking down the barrel of a really big lawsuit over the game at this point. Somebody at the The MKR Group (owners of the copyright to George Romero's Dead films) must have finally played it. I hope they are able to work everything out and make a sequel, but who really knows?

For those of you that wish to know, my gamer tag is Rblphoenix, and as a word of warning to my friends, don't come near this thing with Halo 3, I will not hesitate to break your fingers, and your game.

The scam of DLC (and why the **** are you people falling for it?)

2008-02-08T14:25:00.000-06:00

Downloadable Content is the scourge of gaming. How the hell do game companies get away with charging you $60 bucks for a game then telling you, "but wait there's more! you just have to pay for it!"? It's because people are stupid enough to buy it. The whole point of laying down that outrageous amount of money in the first place is so you get to play the entire damn game, not 80-90% of a game only to be told later to cough up another $15 bucks to get the "rest of the game." Hell most of the time the supposed "extra content" is already on the friggin DVD (see: Beautiful Katamari, Dead Rising, any EA game put out since 2006). Seriously, STOP IT. You're making us all look bad. And convincing game companies that we are stupid mindless sheep that will buy anything as long as it looks shiny and new.

Some advice for Comcast and Time Warner, from yours truly

2008-01-19T10:44:00.000-06:00

Yes, the proverbial shit, has hit the fan.

First of all, I must offer my congratulations, you have single-handedly tricked America into believing that 6mb/ps is as fast as the Internet can possibly go. For those that don't want to do the math, at 6mb/ps UNLIMITED Internet you'd be able to download 2TBs of data per month. And most people don't know that Japan and China can pay what you rob people of per month for 100mb/ps up AND DOWN!

The government paid you 500 billion to upgrade to fiber optics, I'd love to see what you've done with the money. Now, you have pushed to far, to fast. You are trying to stop the free flow of information and ideas to people, and that is not only wrong, its unconstitutional. You do NOT even give customers the pitiful speeds THEY PAY FOR. You expect them to obey secret download restrictions, and block p2p sharing, because YOU think they are downloading illegally. Do you have any idea how large Service Pack 1 for vista is? What happens when someone uses "to much bandwidth" and they can't make an outbound call to 911 because you shut them off? Their deaths will be on YOUR heads.

Did you know that Linux is perfectly legal to download for the home user? And that there are THOUSANDS of movies that are available for FREE on the Internet (just saw a great one called Zeitgeist you should check it out, sounds a lot like the both of you)? There are many reasons people can LEGALLY use the bandwidth that they PAY FOR! What you're doing isn't highway robbery, its downright piracy. I honestly hope that the both of you get sued off the face of this planet, for that is the only way you will learn. Now might be a good time for the two of you to take your heads out of your asses, because there are going to be a lot of your former customers telling you that's where you can stick your service.

http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idUKN1639580720080117?rpc=44&pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0

Why Japan Rocks (aka Why Can't Wii Get This Stuff, Part 2)

2008-01-18T22:32:00.001-06:00

No More Heroes, the toilet paper. Not since Space Balls: The Toilet Paper, have I seen a more ingenious marketing tie-in. I mean, the book is right, everybody poops. So why not do it in style? Still no word from gamestop if this will be coming with my copy of NMH, but one can only hope. Hell the instruction manual itself comes in the form of a comic book. No More Heroes hasn't done so hot in Japan, but I honestly believe a lightsaber based game can do a lot better here in the states.

My picks for 2008 so far...

2008-01-18T19:39:00.000-06:00

A new year is here, and with it comes some new games. By next week one great game (hopefully great) will be coming out in the form of No More Heroes. A game where from what I can tell, the entire point is to beat people up with a fluorescent lamp lightsaber. Yes that's right I said LIGHTSABER, and you use it with the Wiimote. How can you NOT want that? Anyway on with the list my picks for 2008:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii) - otherwise known as the series that turned fighting games on their ear. This game has been duplicated, ripped off, and replicated, all badly. Accept no substitutes. Even if this thing keeps getting delayed (GRRRRRRR). And who the hell could pass up a chance to beat the living crap out of Sonic with Mario? It's every Nintendo fans dream come true.

Fallout 3 (PC and Who the Hell Cares?)- If you don't know what Fallout is and what makes it great, you aren't a gamer, period. The game is being produced by the guys at Bethesda, the folks that brought us the godly Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion. Oblivion engine set in a post-apocalyptic universe? Yes sir, may I have another?

Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust (Pc, Ps3, Xbox 360, Cell) - Yes I know the last game, Magna Cum Laude, sucked, and sucked hard. One of the worst games, I've ever played. But it's Larry, and I have to give him one more shot. For crap's sakes get Al Lowe back already you idiots! Love for sail is right up there as my favorite adventure game of all time. And I want that feeling back, damn it.

Ghostbusters (PC, Wii, PS2, Ps3, Xbox 360)- Duh. If I had to go into description on this, I'd have to come out of your computer screen, and slap each and every one of you reading this.

Bionic Commando Rearmed(PSN, Xbox Live) - The remake of the series, not the one starring the vomit inducing, dreadlocked, hot dog packing, tan guy. I don't see any way to screw this up, other than not releasing it on the console that so richly deserves it, the Wii. And my friends over at GoNintendo, are taking that one head on at http://www.petitiononline.com/0819/petition.html.

Postal 3- Come on it's a new postal game? Whats not to love? Hopefully this will still be an FPS, given that I'm already a tall redhead that bears an uncanny resemblance to the main character, but I'll probly enjoy it either way.

Who the hell knows when Duke Nukem Forever is coming out, but you can damn well bet it would be on top of the list for that year. I want to like that game as much as I like breathing. And I do love my oxygen intake, I love it good.

I'll take the game!

2008-01-10T19:54:00.001-06:00

Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, that is. So far the game has been really good. My only real complaint is that Colbert doesn't voice Phil, and that's a crime that deserves its own case in the game. The game actually had me laughing out loud at a few parts (Mr. Bombs over Baghdad!) and it seems like High Voltage gets what's so good about the cartoon series itself. Unfortunately though, the fatal flaw could be that the cases are somewhat shorter than what I was originally thinking they would be. But all in all, if you like the Phoenix Wright series you should really give this game a try. I can't say that I have any objections to a sequel as long as Colbert comes back.

G4 still out of touch with gamers, even after all these years

2007-12-19T19:02:00.000-06:00

I've noticed something about G4 lately, they have no idea what the hell is going on with games and gamers. I don't know if they ever did. During the Super Mario Galaxy special a "stickcam" question about a Ghostbusters game. Adam responded with a snide "there's no way in hell that they would come out with a new Ghosbusters game." The NEXT DAY, the VERY next day, the announcement of the new game informer mag came out. After the original airing this was edited. Then this happens:

http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/681657/Duke_Nukem_Forever_Teaser_Kinda_Lame.html

"Sorry, 3DRealms, Duke Nukem Forever is still a joke and as much as you'd like to think so, Duke is no Master Chief or Kratos."

Well they got it half right, Duke is no Master Chief or Kratos. He's better than both of them, combined. In one hand, you've got a giant green bastard that's stuck in a tin can with no personality, on the other hand you have an emo Greek. Sorry G4, but I still bet on Duke. And I'd be willing to bet that I'm not alone. But it's no wonder you have no idea whats going on, you are after all, owned by Comcast. But hey judge for yourself the trailer is below.

The end is neigh!

2007-12-18T18:10:00.000-06:00

Break out the shiny foil hats people, because one of the signs of the Apocalypse happens tomorrow at high noon tomorrow central standard time. That's right folks, George "can't get away from the EverCrack" Broussard has announced that a new Duke Nukem Forever trailer is being released at the aforementioned time.

"Last Saturday we had our annual company Christmas party. It was a lot of fun as usual but it featured one special surprise. It turns out that several people had been secretly working late nights and into the wee hours of the morning preparing a special video for those at the party. They created a short teaser for Duke Nukem Forever.
After seeing the teaser we thought it was something we should share with all of you and while it's just a teaser, rest assured more is coming.
Tomorrow, Wednesday the 19th, around noon CST, we will release the first teaser trailer from Duke Nukem Forever. To tide you over until then, here is a screen shot taken from the teaser.
Thank you for being fans of the game and for your continued patience.
I'd like to thank the people on the team that worked so hard to create this teaser and the friends of 3DR that helped create it (Jeremy Soule and Julian Soule, Frank Bry, Jason Evigan and of course, Jon St. John)."

Guess Everquest 2 must have sucked so hard, he finally got back to what he was supposed to do in the first damn place. Make the damn sequel to one of the greatest FPSs... Ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my metal hat and hide out in my bomb shelter, because a Pigcop just flew past my window. The Devil however, was unavailable for comment, as he is stuck in an ice block.

Screw world peace this year give me

2007-12-07T10:55:00.000-06:00

on the Virtual Console. I never got the chance to play all the way through this classic RPG as I didn't own it (Yes I know, Oh the shame, Oh the horror). SOMEBODY at Nintendo needs to listen to the hords of fans screaming at them for this game. At one point Reggie was rambling about the creator wanting to do a remake for the virtual console. But screw that, I'll lay down my 8 bucks, and I bet I'm not alone, for the original untouched game. Eight bucks beats the living hell out of $65 (the current price USED on Amazon.com). Sure I could just download it and play it on a rom, but I'd rather own a digital download of this classic gem. And after allowing Shaq Fu on the SNES, you owe me Nintendo.

Gerstmanngate

2007-12-06T07:45:00.001-06:00

I've been avoiding talking about this because I felt that I would go into an endless rant about the state of review sites, finally I decided to break it down into a few easy to read points.

1. Jeff Gerstmann is one of the WORST game reviewers to ever sit down at a keyboard. He picks up one small falt in a game and hammers it until it looks like an epic problem and worthy of every one's hate.

2. IGN, Gamespot, and any other "media" site reviews are tainted. They always have been. Game companies are constantly sending them swag, or paying for advertisements on sites. Ad revenue is how most of the reviewers get paid.

So really if you want to use the sites that's fine, but use them as a GUIDELINE and don't take their word for it, rent, borrow or take a chance and buy the game. Who knows you might just enjoy a game that got a 6.0 (or in Postal 2's case a 0). You may end up hating a game that got above a nine and feel that you wasted your hard earned cash. You never know until you TRY it.

On a final note, Jeff I'd love to give your career and 8.8, but that would be way to generous.

Happy Birthday Wii

2007-11-19T18:33:00.001-06:00

It's one year on now, and what a year it's been. Mario, Zelda, and Metroi
d games all in the first year. But lets hope they can keep it going strong. Can't wait to see if Wii Fit can actually get me into shape. I know that Wii Sport hurt like hell after a while.

Why Can't Wii get this stuff

2007-11-16T20:16:00.001-06:00

Damn Japan gets all the cool stuff and we get left with keychains and cel art. I want an SNES controller for Wii. We need a club nintendo, but if you happen to live in japan and are a club Nintendo member, pick me up one of these. I'll love ya forever (offer void in 50 states japan and most of the world).

Gamestop jumping the gun, er, proton pack

2007-11-16T12:01:00.000-06:00

The game isn't even out for another YEAR! Holy crap people get a grip. You can't be that desperate for preorders can you? Well whoever wants to jump on it better hurry, only 2 days left! Then you have to wait, a year. Well a year and a few days after the game is released for the store to actually get the game in. Oh and there's some new video up for the game, get it here, but I don't speak, whatever it is this dude is speaking.

http://www.game1.nl/programmas/igtv/videos/trailer/5190/Ghostbusters-The-Video-Game---Impressie.html

This is what I get for trying to score a few coins...

2007-11-15T23:46:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_aK76klxqA

Caught hanging upside down, defying the laws of gravity. Normally I try to obey the law, it's generally a good thing to do. But hey it's only a game right?

DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER... MASS HYSTERIA!

2007-11-14T21:18:00.000-06:00

Variety magazine has confirmed that all 4 thats right ALL, Ernie Hudson (Winston), Dan Aykroyd (Ray), Harold Ramis (Egon), AND Bill Murry (Pete), will be voicing their characters in the new Ghostbusters video game. Also Annie Potts will be reprising her role as Janine. William Atherton "The name's Peck" is listed as well. It's due out in fall of 2008 for PC, Xbox 360, Ps3, Wii, and DS.

Vivendi if you can do anything right, MAKE IT THIS GAME!

Who you gonna call?

2007-11-14T15:55:00.001-06:00

Not me, I'm too busy passed out on the floor from the latest bit of gaming news. I made the above pic thinking "hey wouldn't it be cool?" back before the Wii was called Wii (the Revolution). I really didn't think it would be possible. Not in a million years, the franchise was all but dead. But today, I fire up go nintendo and what do I see?

"Harold Ramis, Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd are getting back together and revisiting their roles to make a sequel to Ghostbusters 1 and 2 – in video-game form."

Thats right folks, sometimes when you let your imagination run wild, it can happen. Now if you will excuse me, the nerd part of me is flipping out, thanking the heavens above, and doing the weirdest dance you'll ever see.

Screw He-Man, get me the Ghostbusters.

Oh Mario,The Pipes, The Pipes Are Calling

2007-11-13T19:10:00.001-06:00

So, Mario Galaxy first impressions... I haven't played a game I genuinely enjoyed this much in a LONG time. Played it for about an hour and a half today. The story is the same as it always is. Peach gets kidnapped, you have to go save her, to get a cake (more than likely a cake, but if you gave me a cake for rescuing you from a turtle that was twice my size, I'd throw you back to the damn lizards). The controls of course take some getting used to, I keep trying to hit b trigger to butt stop and end up shooting candy at things, but I'll adapt. The only thing I don't like so far is they didn't keep the Japanese STAR GET! Replacing it is YOU GOT A STAR. Ok, so I like my engrish. But so far, this seems to be everything you could want out of a true Super Mario 64 sequel.

Super Mario Galaxy Commercial Is A Bit of A Snooze Fest

2007-11-13T08:39:00.000-06:00

They should have done a new version of this commercial. To be honest I'm not a big fan of the new "Wii would like to play" commercials. They're kind of boring.

But you can judge for yourself, here's the Wii Would Like To Play - Super Mario Galaxy Ad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TWzRfQZKzk

On the other hand, at least its not as bad as the Sunshine ad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WPteMFkI2k

Super Mario Galaxy Tonight On X-Play

2007-11-13T07:45:00.000-06:00

But will anyone actually pull themselves away from galaxy long enough to watch? Launch was Sunday night/Monday morning. Talk about closing the barn door after the horses left the stable. Anyway the special will be on G4 at 8pm ET/PT. Be there or, well be playing the actual game.

http://www.g4tv.com/xplay/episodes/7179/XPlay_Super_Mario_Galaxy_Special.html

Oh and if you'd like to see video of the actual launch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTBUGjFzH08

Is it me or is the guy in the Mario suit acting a little creepy?

Unreal Tournament III Fell Off The Radar

2007-11-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

Did you know this was coming out next week? Me either. Somehow it just got lost in the fray of all the other games coming out this holiday season. It's really to bad when this sort of thing happens. Course it really didn't help that Epic didn't put out a lot of info on it. Seems like they were more focused on Gears of War. But yeah the continuation of one of the best multi player series comes out next week. Go out and get it. Maybe you'll get to see me getting killed in various embarrassing ways.

For those about to rock... You may want to hold off for a bit.

2007-11-12T12:54:00.000-06:00

Guitar hero 3, the only game of the series to come to Wii, is having a major issue. This issue is the most important to the game, sound. Activision didn't take the time to test the product (big shock there). It's not Dolby Pro Logic II the game is pumping out, its good old (and I do mean OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD) Mono. No word yet on how they are going to fix the issue. But I did hear they got a call from 1984, NBC beat them to the stereo punch.

A Wii bit of a joke

2007-11-12T09:25:00.001-06:00

The Shaft? Oh come on as if they needed to add yet another penis joke... This is almost as bad as the old Genesis (The more you use it the harder it gets) joystick ad. Anyway if you want to get yourself one and be the... envy of all your friends (read: the butt of a barrage of jokes)...

http://www.wiishaft.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4Mg_HMlAbE

Above is a video of 2 women playing with The Shaft. Yes, I just cringed as I wrote that.

What really grinds my gears (of war)

2007-11-12T08:38:00.000-06:00

"MARIO AND DR. BUZZ ALDRIN CELEBRATE UPCOMING LAUNCH OF SUPER MARIO
GALAXY11/03/07
Mario, Nintendo's iconic video game character, and Dr. Buzz
Aldrin float in zero-gravity atmosphere to train for Mario's upcoming game set
in space, Super Mario Galaxy for Wii on November 03, 2007 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
The game is available in stores Monday, Nov. 12."
http://press.nintendo.com/articles.jsp?id=13947
http://us.wii.com/soft_smg.jsp
So there you have it, the games SHIP DATE is a load of crap, gamestop and others just need to keep SOMETHING in there warehouse to justify the cost of their warehouse. Hopefully someday we will see game stores once again doing what the were founded for in the first place. Taking pre-orders to guarantee you the game ON RELEASE DAY.
Update: Just called up Best Buy for the hell of it
"Thank you for calling Best Buy how can I help you?"
"Yes I was wondering if you had Mario Galaxy in stock?"
"Actually, the release date isn't until later this week"
Really? News to me, news to Nintendo as well. Must be some fluke of the time space continuum that Nintendo world store sold them at 12:01 this morning...

Where the HELL is Dead Rising 2?

2007-11-12T06:53:00.000-06:00

I'd like to get another xbox 360, I really would. But why when the games I really like for it haven't announced any sequels? Yes casual gamers love them some Halo. But what if you want to bash the hell out of zombies? You're stuck with a great, but somewhat flawed, and ultimately, repetitive game experience of the first D.R. Official world a while back was "we might be working on it" alas at least 3 game shows have gone by and not so much as a trailer. Hell RE5 had one logo a few years back. At least give me that. There is something to be said for not over-hyping a game, but this is ridiculous.

A guide to Nerds

2007-11-11T23:40:00.001-06:00

http://www.randsinrepose.com/archives/2007/11/11/the_nerd_handbook.html

Good advice if you know, are involved with or are friends with a nerd, or a nerd-like person. Hell, I know that understanding these points could have saved a few of my relationships in the past. But hey, always moving forward, sometimes looking back.

The Dust Just keeps on coming

2007-11-11T19:11:00.001-06:00

http://consumerist.com/consumer/audio/sony-csr-what-no-dust-doesnt-void-your-ps3-warranty-321288.php

Give this guy a new PS3, or give him a game system that's actually good. You know like an Xbox 360. The ps2 was my last sony console. I don't play these kinds of games with customer support, so no thanks.

You have got to be F***ing kidding me.

2007-11-10T09:25:00.000-06:00

Coming it at no. 1 on the "Sony can't be that stupid can they?" list, it now seems that if your PS3 contains to much dust you void your warranty.

http://consumerist.com/consumer/sony/dust-voids-ps3-warranty-321226.php

I still can't believe it, yet in a way yes I can. After having years of trouble with Sony products, I vowed that I would not buy a PS3 until it came down in price. After this, I doubt I will get one at all. Nintendo at least cares for their customers. Microsoft makes an attempt to care, even if its not the greatest. This is what happens when a company gets to rich, and we as gamers need to draw the line and knock them down a few pegs. If there was ever a reason for a class action lawsuit, this is it.

The Best Game You've Never Played.

2007-11-10T04:26:00.000-06:00

That's right, Postal 2. Most gaming sites and mags panned it. But I love it. If it were a woman I'd marry it and call it Susan. There isn't much to be said for the story (is there even a story?) but nothing is more satisfying than taking out a non-moving line of people with a shovel. Nothing. This game got me though working retail, I'd come home every night and bash the hell out of some in game people and feel a lot better about my place in the world. Not to mention the main character is a redhead (HELL YES!). I own every, that's right EVERY version of this game except the fudge pack (who came up with that name anyway?). Even with the dated graphics I can still sit down and play this game for HOURS. There is a lot to be said for a game that is just plain FUN. As soon as the 10th Anniversary Postal Collection came on sale I jumped at it. http://www.gopostal.com/store/10th.php

I still remember the day my friend Steve fired up his computer and showed me the wonders of Postal 1. He's about to go over to Iraq, if I had the funds I'd buy him the 10th pack as well, course he'd need a laptop too. Well damn. He can play it when he gets back. I'm not cheap, just broke. I anxiously await word of postal 3 and will even go see Uwe Boll's (no matter how many times my gut screams NO!) movie. I leave you with the tag line from Postal 2s Box:

Ever Have One of Those Days?

Indeed I have.